Friday, August 27, 2010

Kissing Frogs

My daughter is newly engaged to an adorable guy who we really like a lot. I think they're a great match and I have to say when my husband immediately got involved in the wedding plans that was a pretty good sign; just for fun though let's go over how we got here. What did she pass up along the way?

My all time favorite (I need a dripping in sarcasm font) was the atheist, football hating, (FOOTBALL HATING!) "what we need is another government program", Yankee that she had to drive everywhere because his license was revoked (DUI). Gosh, I thought he was a keeper. He was a lot of fun, though. Or should I say we HAD a lot of fun with him. As soon as he came in the door my husband and I began this conversation (imagine an accent straight out of Deliverance):

Him: Baby, kin ya run down to the corner store and pick me up a six pack o' beer an' git a couple o' them lottery tickets while your at it, and maybe some pork rinds?

Me: I done tol' ya. I ain't goin' to the dang store to git yore beer and lottery tickets, I'm a fixin to miss Dog the Bounty Hunter and I think some o' yo folks is gon' be on there.

Him: Ain't so. They was a sayin' they was gwin to be on that there Cops again.

Me: Well, hell. I don't know how come ya can't put a shirt on and run down thar yourself. It ain't like yore a doin' nothin' important like watchin' Nascar.

As I say, it really was great fun.  He didn't stay around long. We never did quite figure out what ran him off.

There were a number of unambitious "I don't know what I want to do" types.  A severe misstep when the girl is so fond of decisiveness and a plan. There were a couple who were darling and sweet as pie but...well, not too bright, he does need to be able to keep up with the conversation and understand that sarcasm in this house is an art form. Some of them were croaking loud enough from the beginning never to seriously be in the running.  And what did Mama do during all this? Nothing. I kept my comments to myself unless asked, knowing that...

she would make her way through the swamp, which she did and eventually ended up on a lovely beach.

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