Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I'm Whining, Okay?

I've been living a lie.  I'd like to be completely honest with you (since we've become so close and all) so I feel the need to confess. I was going to use my closet as a makeshift confessional but if you saw my previous post entitled "How Much is Enough?"  you'll understand why that didn't happen.  Now my Dear Reader, take a deep breath and brace yourself....I have recently purchased and have been wearing for some time...reading glasses.  Shocking, I know. Are you okay? Perhaps I should have told you to sit down, but you are at your computer (so I assumed...). I put it off as long as possible, then I hid it.  Recently I decided to come out,  so here I am. What fun to get to add glasses to wrinkle cream. I am simply beside myself. 

My daughter has been trying to get me to give up the illusion of being able to read at a normal distance for some time. "Mom, it's no big deal I wear them because my eyes get tired after a while and it helps." Well OF COURSE it isn't a big deal to the 24 yr. old. When she puts glasses on to read people are going to see; intelligent, adorable, and sexy like the secretaries in movies who take off their glasses and take down their hair and are instantly transformed into ravishing beauties. Uh huh. At my age when I put on glasses people are going to see one thing: OLD.  Although in these pictures I'm contemplating whether they make me look smarter...I think I just look confused, don't you?

Now I must admit the ability to look over my readers at someone is a very powerful move.  What's better than looking old? Oh yes, looking old and authoritative, and angry (and on a really bad day, possibly bitter).  Now I know that those of you who wear glasses all the time don't see the big deal and just think I'm whining...but a lot of the aging process are things I have some amount of control over.  That control thing, I really like that. 

I've always read and watched television at the same time. I know, I know that is technically multitasking which we all know I can't quite pull off but let's move on.  One night about 2 years ago I was reading and looked up at the TV screen and .....I couldn't see it. It was blurry! Now my first reaction was that I thought I'd had a stroke or blown a blood vessel or something truly terrible, but when I later relayed the story to a friend she said, "How old are you?"  When I told her she said, "Oh well that just happens with age."  All casual just like that.  Like it's nothing.  Oh it's something!  I'm actually kind of surprised at myself for making such a big deal out of it. Oh, if you could could have heard me  20 years ago or even 10. I used to say the most absurd things like - "When my hair goes gray that's it, I'm not coloring it!"  What was I thinking? I can't imagine, and neither can my hairdresser.  I now say the same thing about all sorts of other things and wonder how long I can hold out on those.  

Like I said at the beginning, whining.  Sorry, but when did I say I wasn't shallow and vain? 

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