Thursday, May 19, 2011

Snarky and Snarkier





My dear blog reader, let me preface this post by saying that if you are reading this blog I like you. I may even love you. I'm assuming that if you keep showing up here you appreciate (and maybe even share) my snarkiness, or perhaps you are hoping for one of my stories about something embarrassing that has happened to me. If that's the case then today, you are in luck!

My son and I were shopping for a new phone for him and when the sales girl took our phones (we share a family plan) and looked at our combined minutes of talking, she gasped. Let's just say we aren't phone people. Text us. E-mail us. Send up smoke signals. Do not call unless you are on fire. (Which could possibly happen while you are sending up aforementioned smoke signals.)

She looked at us as if there was something wrong with us. There isn't. At least WE don't think there is. The other people who live in our house are great communicators. Very social. You know the type. Planners, tons of friends, the go-to-people when you want something done.

My son and I get excited about "welcome" mats that say GO AWAY. He will be beside himself when I tell him that I have discovered online a set of "business cards" that say STOP TALKING.

Where was I? Oh yes, our phones. The girl, while recovering from her shock over our lack of talk time, asked a few more questions about our phone use habits and at some point I said (and I really don't know why),

"We aren't very social."

Now this isn't even really true. We both just require lots of time alone, but as a friend said to me once,"You're a lot of fun once you leave the house." The leaving the house... that's the thing. I do like so much to be alone in it, but that is rare these days, so I am currently scouting out public places where one can be alone. That's a trick, let me tell you.

Anyway, as soon as I said it I thought better of it, but it was too late for it to be saved.

My son, AKA Mr. Snarky took umbrage at this and said "We're social. There are just a lot of people we don't like."

Yes.

Out loud.

Our poor little sales girl had the most interesting look come over her darling teen-age face. A look that said our lack of used minutes was suddenly very clear to her. In an effort to save the moment with a comical pop culture reference I tried to pull off a reverse Sally Field to make her laugh.  "We like you really, we really really like you." My attempt at humor fell flat. Who says there isn't a generation gap?
There is one, and it isn't funny.


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