Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Wedding Movie Seat or Therapist's Couch?

Therapy is expensive so this Mother of the Bride has turned to that last bastion of sanity in a wedding gone mad world...Hollywood. Okay, gang I haven't shed any tears yet, but I've managed to have lots of laughs, thanks to classic film gems, while building up to the big day. Some of these movies are funnier than they used to be. I see our very own father of the bride in both versions of that classic. I can relate to mother of the bride (Meryl Streep) in Mamma Mia. Wedding Crashers is a bit less humorous when you are terrified that a hundred people who haven't RSVPd  might show up and eat. My husband thinks someone should stand at the end of the food line checking the names off the list. "Oh we didn't get your card back. No food for you." The RSVP Nazi. The Wedding Date I love for a couple of very quotable lines: "Mom, this is so not the time to be yourself." (I will more than likely get the chance to use that one) and "It's nothing a bottle of Jack Daniels and a straight razor wouldn't solve." I'll confess to using it on a regular basis; it's a handy one even if you aren't planning a big bash with all your closest friends.

Here's the official Mother of the Bride wedding movie list; some of them might make you cry and some of them will just make you laugh until you do:

Father of the Bride: (remake) George Banks has been making a regular appearance at our house for some time. The wiener company and bun company in a conspiracy to rip off the American public? I'm so married to that guy.

Father of the Bride (original): Oh for the graciousness of Joan Bennett while I'm playing this part of the MOB. I'm failing miserably as you might have guessed.

Muriel's Wedding: One of the funniest things ever and if you love ABBA, their music is a bonus.

The  Wedding Date: Because weddings are also stressful for siblings. For classic lines, see above.

Philadelphia Story: Classic. 

Four Weddings and a Funeral: Because life is complicated and messy, and because I love Hugh Grant.

How to Marry a Millionaire: Classic. Classic. Classic.

Mamma Mia: ABBA infused answer to Father of the Bride. Shows just how important the Mother of the Bride's lifelong friends are (this MOB can relate)!

The Wedding Singer: Laugh out loud and 80s music.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding: Because all weddings have those comical characters we like to lump together and call "family." 

My Best Friend's Wedding: "Maybe there won't be marriage, maybe there won't be sex, but by God there'll be dancing"

The Wedding Crashers:
Secretary : "Once Sack and Claire tie the knot, two of the great American families, the Clearys and the Lodges, will finally unite. "
John Beckwith: "And then of course you can challenge the Klingons for interstellar domination."

Actually, the Klingons come later. They are called children. I'm not even ready to think about that movie list yet...

Friday, August 26, 2011

Dispatch From Wedding Central

Two weeks from tonight will be the rehearsal dinner. Night before last I had my first wedding related nightmare. I wasn't naked but my hair wasn't done and I mean, it is practically the same thing. So guess what-- remember when I told you I wasn't going to let this blog turn into --what was it-- "an all wedding all the time borefest?"

I take it back.

Because I'm going to need you to hold my virtual hand for the next two weeks.

And listen to me whine, fret, and just carry on in general. It sounds enticing, doesn't it? I can't imagine what could keep you away.  This is the week for writing the checks on balances to the reception venue, florist, caterer. What a great week for my son's college tuition AND property taxes to be due.  Clearly we weren't thinking this through a year ago when we said, "Of course, a wedding the second weekend in September sounds lovely!" But then weddings are probably like having babies...if you waited until you were ready you'd never do it.

This week we met our church hostess who will be directing the wedding. The woman is so sweet and organized she could probably negotiate an Arab/Israeli peace treaty that would actually stick. But the main thing I loved about her was that she looked at my daughter and said "It will all come together on that day and be lovely." (sigh)

I appreciated that because do you know how many wedding disaster stories you hear when you are planning a wedding? People cannot wait to tell you about the wedding they attended where two little boys got in a fistfight and punched and rolled all the way down the aisle during the vows, or the one where the unity candle caught the bride's veil on fire and her father leaped onto the altar, snatched it off her head and stomped it out. Those two are actual contributions from the father of the bride, both of which he swears are true.

I've turned to movies for a little cinema therapy and mother of the bride solidarity. I watched Father of the Bride the other night with the man who will be playing that role in real life here shortly. I can never decide which version I like best...Spencer Tracy was a genius in the role, but the Steve Martin one makes me laugh right out loud which I desperately need right now.  The scene where the bride and her brother are yelling "good night" and "I love you" across the hall on her last night at home and the camera stays on Martin who pauses and clutches his chest when he hears it...oh man, I'm there.

I'm so there.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Honeymoon + Map = Project!

 Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my daughter's engagement. The groom had been keeping the honeymoon destination a secret and decided the 1 year mark would be a good time for the big reveal.

Since The Housewife/Mother of the Bride was in on the secret I had a little project up my sleeve, thanks to Pinterest.

I found a map of the destination...

drum roll please....

Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

A romantic return to the beach where he proposed. Remember?

 Well, I don't love anything if it isn't a project so I decided to make them something special to commemorate the place.

And because I love maps.

I do not love hearts, but the bride does so I put my own aversion to them aside to do this sweet project. It's really easy. here's a walk through:

To start off I purchased a map of the destination (This would also be a really cute idea for a house warming gift for someone moving to a new city.), a canvas, and some spray adhesive.

Next I sprayed the canvas with the adhesive and proceeded to wrap the canvas as I would a present, tucking corners, etc.

I cut out a template of a heart and lightly traced the outline on the map.

Using embroidery thread (in red, of course) I began to stitch an outline of the heart. 

This is the back of the canvas. 

This is the finished product. I gave it to the bride this morning.

She did a happy dance.

Nothing starts a day off like seeing your child do a happy dance.

I have a lot of wedding related projects to share with you that I've been documenting as I've done them. So post wedding, this blog will be one project after another for a while.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Time Travel

 Recently while antiquing I happened upon this book. It is a charming reader published in 1923 and appears to have been used in the state of Indiana as a text book. As soon as I saw it I knew it was coming home with me. Fabric cover with frayed edges, worn by use...The Housewife only has so much willpower.

Adorable illustrations of childhood innocence and wonder combined with travel, made my knees weak. If you add a vintage airplane and train you can sell me anything.

I could design an entire nursery with this picture as the inspiration piece. A travel themed nursery, is floating around in my brain just in case anyone wants to enlist me to help them decorate at any time in the future. I'm fairly sure my first gift to any descendents that might come along will be a globe and that Seuss masterpiece, Oh, the Places You'll Go!" 
  Here is the inside front cover. Love the past/present and American/native children in contrast.

                               Inside the back cover we see the concept repeated in reverse.

          According to the back of this book the price I purchased it for ($12.50) was astronomical. I'm weak, I know. Some things are not worth fighting. Vintage book + travel = instant cave in.

                                                      Back of this sweet little number.

Friday, August 5, 2011

The Good the Bad and the Beautiful

I think this is great. Jane Fonda. 73. Let's face it we all know some women less than half her age who don't look half as good.

Do diet and exercise matter? Does embracing a healthy lifestyle make a difference?

You tell me.

Good for her, I say. Something to strive for. Old age does not have to mean what it did for our grandparents. Now, it's not all natural and  Fonda has been honest about going under the knife for some things. (Read about it here.) That body, however, is the result of her hard work. 

Unfortunately then, we have this...

This child is ten. The haute couture version of Toddlers and Tiaras. This is one of a series of photos currently appearing in French Vogue. I'm trying to remember what I was doing when I was ten; I'm fairly sure it involved running, jumping, playing will dolls. My Barbie was the only one dressing anywhere near this sophisticated at my house. There are a couple of arguments to be made here. You could say  this is the equivalent of playing dress up. Yes, you could say that but playing dress up generally is done at home and would only be seen by friends or family. These photos are in a magazine. They have the potential to be seen by millions (and actually because of the stir they've created they are sure to be).

Dress up is something girls do to themselves to discover who they are and experiment. Unfortunately what we see in Vogue is a girl who is having something done to her. She is the object of experiment for stylists, photographers, and publicists.