Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Killing Spiders and Insulting Boyfriends: The Housewife Arrives
Last year when I was here the older daughter was dating a boy named Austin. Since I have arrived this time I've met the younger daughter's current boyfriend. The other night after dinner we were in the kitchen and I saw a very big spider crawling across the floor.
I screamed "SPIDER!" because that's what I do at my house and then call for a male member of my household to come and kill it. Yes, I could kill it myself but if I'm going to do that what is the point of being married?
I then saw that younger daughter's boyfriend was on his way out the door and not being able to recall his name but knowing NOT to call him Austin, I did what any genteel Southern woman would do...
I screamed "Hey you! Man, boy person, come BACK there's a spider!" from my perch atop the bar stool where I was now crouched, lest this be one of those arachnids with the power to jump 7 feet and attack at will.
My friend looks at me and says "Oh for crying out loud." and promptly and calmly stepped on it. The crunch under her foot didn't even bother her.
Oh. Well, yes that is another way to handle it.