Thursday, March 29, 2012

Adult Scout: I Did the Work. I Want the Badge.

The Girl Scouts are celebrating their 100th anniversary this year. Were you a Girl Scout? I never was and I think I've been trying to make up for it ever since.  Several years ago a friend had me sew her son's merit badges on his sash when he made Eagle Scout. As I was attaching those badges I noticed how many of them I've earned, but I never got credit for.  Maybe we need "Adult Scouts" for those of us who still want credit for our efforts.  Think how much fun parties would be if we all displayed our badges of honor.

"Oh, You've got your Traffic Safety badge! My daughter will be 16 next year."

If we don't deserve a badge for teaching teenagers how to drive then I give up.

The Boy Scouts offer a lot of badges and I like theirs better.  I'm going to need to fill in the gaps neither set of scouts have thought of like the ability to carry on multiple Facebook conversations simultaneously.  I'll need one for decorating using things I've dragged out of trash on the side of the road. Of course maybe those would just fall under "Communication" and "Art." There isn't a badge for hosting a ten year old's birthday party or planning a wedding. Clearly this is an oversight by someone...

Here are some badges the Boy Scouts do offer. I think I've got these covered:

Canoeing: and I'm going to want a special one for doing it while pregnant in stifling heat in a river that dried up. I had to help my husband drag the canoe (loaded with camping supplies) 2 miles over a dry river bed infested with snakes. If you've ever been canoeing with your husband, you get the basic version of this one.

Theater: I survived having a teenage daughter. If you want to give me a "drama" badge instead, that would be okay.

Sports: Dragging kids and equipment, to games and practices and taking hundreds of hours of video should earn me this one. Can I get an extra one called COACH'S WIFE? I can't begin to outline the survival skills necessary.

Animal Science: Does raising 2 baby squirrels, 3 baby chicks, building a beehive, saving a school of neon tetras from a leaking aquarium while talking to my daughter's algebra teacher about her grade, and trying to figure out how to coax a hamster our from under the washer count toward this one?

Can we create one for best run on sentences? 

Family Life:  If every one got fed and no one was missing or bleeding, it was a good day. Go ahead and claim this one, moms. You've earned it! I'm going to want one for each childbirth and one for every 5 years I've been married.

Anyone who has more than one child definitely earns a "Peacekeeping" badge.

First Aid: Got a child old enough to walk? Then you've earned this one. 

Painting: Are you kidding? Around here, there's nothing a good coat of paint won't cure.

Reading: Reading! There's a badge for it!

Personal Fitness: Yep.

Archeology: I earned this one cleaning out closets, attics, and the back of the SUV at the end of baseball season.

Cooking: Every day. Every. Single. Day. 

Gardening: Got it.

Dog Care: The border collie can get the paper. I rest my case.

Home Repairs: Unfortunately.

Pathfinding: Earned while carefully making my way through the room of a Legomaniac.

Public Health: I hope passing around the hand sanitizer, and giving coughers and sneezers who don't cover their mouths dirty looks, count toward this one. I have also been known to (as sweetly as possible) ask "Shouldn't you be at home?" You know, as opposed to out spreading, what is clearly the Black Death, among the general population...

Here's a link to a good article about the founder of the Girl Scouts: Girl Power: Starting in 1912 "Daisy" Lowe launches a Girl Scout movement.

"Come right over! I've got something for the girls of Savannah, and all America, and all the world, and we're going to start it tonight!" ~ Daisy Lowe

Which makes me wonder why there is no "One person can change the world" badge...

Got a badge you think you've earned?

No comments:

Post a Comment