Friday, October 14, 2016

Creating Your Sustainable Bedtime Ritual

adult bedtime

Bedtime is an event when you are a child or the parent of small children. After dinner there is a bath, cozy clean pajamas, reading a book with Mom or Dad. It's a routine and everyone knows what to expect every night. It's so special that it is a key scene in TV shows and movies regarding families. You probably have your own special memories from your own childhood or from your child's.

But something happens as we get older. At some point we throw out the comforting ritual. We watch late night television or prowl Facebook until we nearly pass out from exhaustion and then fall into bed. As a nation we complain about our inability to sleep or wear our lack of sleep as a badge of honor.

It's time to reclaim getting tucked in.  Here's your pinnable cheat sheet:

Let's make being tucked in at night a grown up thing. If you were a child you remember how to do this, right? And if you have raised kids of your own, you just have no excuse not to be treating yourself to a goodnight ritual.

Step 1. Set a bedtime and stick with it. No matter how much your inner toddler whines to stay up late to see George Clooney on Jimmy Kimmel, you are going to stand strong. It's okay to give yourself a window: my bedtime is between ten and ten-thirty. Choose the right time for you. I'm a lark so my time is pretty early. If you are an owl just make sure to give yourself 8 hours before the alarm goes off the next morning.

Step 2. If you are a nighttime shower person do that. If you are a morning shower person, wash your face and moisturize. I brush my teeth now to in order to signal to my brain we're done eating for the day ( a sustainable habit that shaves off hundreds of calories over the course of a week).

Step 3. Put on your favorite cozy pajamas.

Step 4. Dim the lights around the house.

Step 5. If you are having alcohol in the evening keep it earlier, closer to dinnertime. It can interfere with sleep in the early morning hours. For bedtime drinks stick to decaf tea or water or any of the teas that promote sleep.

Step 6. Turn off all the screens. This is where your inner tween will start wailing but remember, you are the adult now. Have a little self control. No screens the last 20 minutes before you actually get in bed. It should really be an hour but my inner tween is testy and I'm bringing her along slowly.


 Hopefully yours is an adorable toddler.

Step 7. A bedtime story! Yay! It's the best part and you can choose whatever you want. But be careful. I've been reading War and Peace for eleven years or something. By the time I get to this point my brain is thinking "Time to go to sleep!" This isn't the time for a page turner like Gone Girl. Classics and personal development work nicely. Just like we primed our brain for our day, now we are priming it for sleep. You'll want to end the day on a good note.

Step 8. Prayers. Meditations. Affirmations.

One more sharable reminder: 


Okay, I know there's more to it because your mom isn't fixing the coffee pot for you and your dad isn't going around locking all the doors. You might need to let the animals out one last time, charge your phone, or pick out clothes for tomorrow.

Work all of those things in and around your bedtime routine as it works for you. I make the coffee after dinner if I remember but more often it's in there somewhere between a glass of water and wrangling my testy inner tween. But the overall process happens every night. I'm sure it does for you too your version just might need a little you-centric tweaking to make the most of it.

But what about the weekend?

Bad news. Your body doesn't know it's Friday night. So while you might veer off schedule occasionally for big events or special nights out, sticking as closely as you can to a regular plan is going to improve your sleep. We were recently on a cruise to Iceland and because it never got dark in July I was super out of whack. That's okay. We an all afford the once in a while sleepless night for fun. We just recorrect when things are normal again and go on. Perfectly adhering to a system isn't our goal. Make sure that you are caring for yourself with kindness and love most of the time. That means giving your body plenty of rest.

Please comment and share your bedtime rituals! Sweet dreams.



  1. This is such good advise. I would add, for myself personally, don't eat chocolate at dinner. It can keep me awake.

    1. Me too. At this point in life there are a number of things I can't eat too close to bedtime anymore, and I sure can't get away with things like chocolate.

  2. My husband and I like to enjoy a cup of half-caff coffee on the back porch together most late-afternoons, but I have been finding that that can cause trouble with my quality of sleep. Green tea is what I am trying to remind myself to reach for now. {Also, any time I have yogurt as a nighttime snack it seems to throw off my sleep pattern. :/... }

  3. When my kids were very young I used to be able to drink coffee and bedtime and still sleep soundly all night. Truth be told I was probably just so exhausted a nuclear bomb wouldn't have bothered me. Those days are gone and now I usually just have water or a nice bedtime tea, like Sleepy Time. I literally cannot eat anything within several hours of bedtime any more or I am miserable.

  4. So good. I try to stick to a routine...I try to get everything done before I start. I like to enjoy a bath, afterwards taking care of my skin, etc...then I head up to bed. I get up at 5:00 every morning so I try to be in bed by 9:00 at night. I do like to read right before bed. I need to get a bit better at the screen time before bed...I will usually read on my tablet or play a simple game.


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